Recommendation: Attack on Titan Tribute Game

You see the text in the corner that says "Frumper just killed a titan with 520 damage?" That was me. I did that. Boom.

Hey, so you know that hit anime/manga Attack on Titan that all the kids are raving about these days? Have you ever though to yourself that a co-op multiplayer game based on the franchise, in which a small team of terrified soldiers armed with jetpacks, grappling hooks, and swords has to fight through an arena of giant, naked, nearly-invincible giants, would be balls-to-the-wall awesome?

There is such a game. It is free. It's called Attack on Titan Tribute Game, and it's balls-to-the-wall awesome.

And it's also really freakin' hard. The only way to kill the giants is to close in using your 3D Maneuvering Device (meaning that you have to traverse levels Spiderman style), get behind them, and land a well-placed blow to the back of their neck. The game's mechanics are super bare-bones - you have to manually aim the grappling hooks yourself - making the game really, really hard, but also allowing for a number of incredibly complicated and impressive maneuvers.

As rough as the game is, it's one of the most fantastic multiplayer experiences I've had in a while. Check it out.

Frumped.

The Echidna Awards! (GOTYs 2013)

After much careless deliberation with myself, I have chosen the top 8 games of 2013. These are clearly indisputable. Check out my list at Beta Fish mag and be enlightened.

Digital Toilet World is now on Game Jolt!

You can now check out my latest game, "Digital Toilet World," on Game Jolt right here!

I just realized recently that I forgot to change a typo in the game - the player character states that something's a "mute point" instead of a "moot point". Even though I am filled with much shame, I still claim that the game's otherwise rad.

Digital Toilet World Released

Welcome to Digital Toilet World.

One of humankind's server worlds is under attack, and its up to you, the cleaner, to purify it. You are accompanied on your holy mission by a brave little monster, the only one capable of fighting the viruses.

Unfortunately, this monster needs to go to the bathroom, often. And there's only one goddamn toilet on the whole server.

That's such shit.

"Digital Toilet World" was made for the 28th Ludum Dare, the 48 hour game making competition. The theme for this particular competition was "you only get one". I have always wanted to make a monster-raising game, and thankfully the theme was open-ended enough to allow me to do this.Obviously, I didn't have time to make a full fledged monster sim, so I restricted myself to the clearly most entertaining mechanic of the genre - pooping. I then added some combat and exploration on top to give the pooping context.

I've always wanted to make a "punk" game in the style of thecatamites or Porpentine for a change, and LD was the perfect opportunity for that. The game's crude as hell, but it's the most fun (complete) game I've made to date.

YOU WANT TO DOWNLOAD THIS I CAN TELL 
HOLD ON HERE'S THE LINKS
You can check out the game's compo page on LD here. If you could rate it up, I'd love you. Judging for the competition ends around January 6th, I think.

You can also directly download it from my dropbox here.

Right now I only have a Windows build. If you want a Mac build, I'm going to need actual physical access to Mac (if you're one of my Baltimore friends with a Mac and you want to play this, let's get together and make it happen.)

Digital Toilet World Released

Hey,

I just submitted a game for Ludum Dare 28. It's called Digital Toilet World. You can check it out here.

I'll write a more substantial blog post when I have more time and am not being pressured by my friends to leave the McDonalds from which we are obtaining internet access. I have to leave now.

For what it is, I'm quite proud of it. It's a fun little thing. Enjoy!

Look, I can do animations that aren't pixelated four frame walk loops!

So, I'm currently in an animation class. Below is my final project for it.

It's not strictly games related, but I figured that you, dear reader, would nevertheless be amused by it. For amateur work, I'm pretty satisfied with it.

Enjoy! If I can make a game version of this for Ludum Dare this weekend, I'll totally do it.

Grumpy Programmer Live Blog Spectacle

11:50
Okay, you sad sassy dipshits, here's the rundown:

I'm in this bullshit game design class this semester. I'm supposed to have a sparkling-cider-ass digital prototype of a game done tomorrow morning, 9:00 sharp. You need perspective? I'll give you some peanut-butter-shitting perspective - I haven't started, and it's 11:50 right now. 11:50 in the frackin' PM. It's supposed to be a group project. It's supposed to be an equal division of labor. Guess whose partner doesn't have any game design skills and didn't respond to his email  asking when to meet up to work on this piece of flaming spiraled ape shit?

Bloody hell like I've had time to get a headstart on this shit. Bullshit.Game design class.

You know what this means, right, you sewage guzzling skunk munchers? Yeah, that's right, it's the GRUMPY PROGRAMMER LIVE BLOG SPECTACLE. (Pricks).

Every 15 minute interval, you get an update on my progress, you privileged pompous bourgeois blowhard.

Maybe this will be entertaining, as you derive intense pleasure from documentation of my pain. Maybe it will just be sad. Actually, you know what? It'll probably just be frumpin' sad. You know why? Because I'm making a piss-wallowing game about a young woman who can repair elevators. Guess what you do in the game? Repair the motherfucking elevator. Press R to restart and repair it again in a different way! DO IT YOU CAPITALIST SLAVE.

Let's go.

12:15
WHAT THE GHOST-SNORTING-SNORLAX DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO HOLD CTRL AND SHIFT TO CREATE MULTIPLE OBJECTS IN THE ROOM AT ONCE IN THE NEW VERSION OF GAME MAKER. PUFF SHITTER.
I paid money for new software because I expected improvement. Literally feeling myself get arthritis is not an improvement.
Jesus Christ.

Thank god I can just rip old platformer game code from previous projects for this. Oh, did I forget to mention?
This isn't just a game in which you fix elevators.
It's a game in which you can fix elevators and  jump.

12:30
What the hell is my roommate watching? Did the sports announcer just say ninjitsu fight?
i wish i could watch two ninjitsus fight BUT NO I MUST WORK because SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT
Fucking ninjitsus. They're not all that cool.

Shit, is 64 pixels too great of a range within which the player can interact with the elevator? How close does one have to be to elevators to fix elevators? Judas Priest.

12:31
Yeah if anybody was wondering 64 pixels is too much distance.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

12:32
AND SO IS 48 IF YOU WERE ASKING

12:45
No my bad 48 is totally the right distance.
If you're trying to work on an elevator and you're more that 48 pixels away from the fucker you better put your fancy-ass elevator tools down and hightail it out of there before you hurt someone.

There used to be a strange joke about aunts here but I removed it because it was dum.


1:00
Guess whose game has an elevator that can detect bullshit?


It's on to you, pansy-farter.

1:15
Tahoma?!
Why the hell is Tahoma the default font?
Who the hell types in Tahoma?
What the fuck is a Tahoma?
I expected improvement. I didn't pay money to type in Tahoma in the built-in graphics editor.
Fucking ninjitsus.

1:30
Look, I hate it when humorists make self-referential, self-depricating humor or commentary. It's never funny, and it never helps. But in all honesty? This post has lost me any credibility I've ever had as a writer. I lost the credibility precisely when I wrote about the aunt dying in the elevator accident.
The proofreading and review processes are not by any means underrated. Make no mistake, this is an unfiltered vomit of words.

         I continue to write this for the slim chance of self redemption.

on another note sewage guzzling skunk muncher ha ha

1:45
You know, this is a lot like Ludum Dare or 7DFPS.
Except not fun, and if you fail to meet the deadline you lose your scholarship money.
That's sickening. What sick turn of fate this is.

Look, the game has choices in it now. And what meaningful choices they are.

I should work for kitten-huffin' Bioware.

What kind of sadistic elevator repair simulator is this. Jesus.

2:00
Oh shit.
I forgot to change the font from Tahoma.
Fuck me blind.

Should I just censor that moronic post about the aunt? I should probably do that.
Oh geeze.

I hope your computer's badass enough for this game, because it needs to run at a howling 60 frames per second.

2:15
Yeah, definitely censoring that stupid elevator crash with dead aunt joke. Geeze. Can't believe I wrote that shit.

Yeah that looks better.

Yeeaaaaah.

2:30
And now the game has exploding elevators.

I swear to god I'm being productive.

2:45

Now the game has bad guys.

This is going to be great for my portfolio.

I have a headache and my stomach hurts.

What am I doing.

3:00
You see, over the bad guy's head, it says, "bad guy".

Did you notice?

I noticed.

Wait a second, I'm almost done.

3:08
The game prototype's done. If you want to download it for some reason you can do it here:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/89594581/Posthuman_Prototype.zip

It's a Windows build as usual. Not bad for three hour's work.

That... that was the
GRUMPY PROGRAMMER LIVE BLOG SPECTACLE. 

Never... never again...